Well it’s been a few weeks since I sent the last Blog. That was also when I sent you word on the fact that Ar’ Back Yard had just landed on my doorstep the day before. So I guess you’re now wondering what it is that I – or I should say we – have been up to since then eh?
Well to be honest – after the initial rush, which quite obviously, left me grinning like the kid that found the key to the candy store, when I finally got to rip open those boxes that I’ve have been working my arse off for over the last year (well more like past nine-fookin’ years if we’re telling the truth ‘ere)
Anyway - I began working with the Ben Cameron and the guys from TCI-Smith Publicity, and also with Victoria from my publishers from the beginning of February...
You know what guys? Fuck this story – you don’t really want to read about this bollocks just yet do you?
We can come back to that in a couple of week’s right?
So why don’t I tell a story about Brighton, a tribute band called Dirty DC (obviously a tribute to AC-DC) and a couple of hookers (sorry didn’t catch their names) from the Czech Republic and Poland...
Now I’ve got your attention eh. Was only joking about the hookers...
If am I being truthful about everything that has been going on lately, then I have to delve into the past, because it’s fair to say, that I really haven’t been getting any proper sleep lately.
You see – I think that now I am starting to see my name bounced so openly around the internet and Ar’ Back Yard all over the place – well – I am just coming to realise the full scale of things to come that is. And now that I am realising this, I am not too sure if putting my name on the book was really the brightest fookin’ idea I have ever had.
The dreams I’ve been having lately are so fookin’ bizarre – they are creating a whole new trilogy of books all by themselves. The mind really works in mysterious ways. Forget all about those latest-zillion-megapixels-cameras... Cos’ it has to be said, that your mind has to be the most vivid image collector you’re ever gonna need.
Albeit I am not too sure I really want to be re-experiencing the things that I am in my dreams. You see, I’d be lying if I said that all the crack I smoked back there and then, was something that is now all in the past, and completely forgotten about.
And no – that does mean by any means I am still smoking that crazy potent – albeit totally intoxicating drug. I am not by any means doing that.
What I mean is that I don’t care who you are. If you’re one of those out there that has tasted that taste (yes, you know exactly what I am talking about) then it’s always gonna be with you. I mean I can literally be walking down the street and catch a sniff of something – or even on the flip side to that coin, see a discarded water bottle and it will send a shiver through me as the memories flood back.
I mean don’t get me wrong ‘ere. I know for a fact I would never smoke that shit ever again...
But I don’t care whether you are Shaun Ryder (god like genius) on his stay in the Caribbean way back then – Pete Doherty (great lyrics) or even that nut case (albeit she has a great fookin’ voice) Amy Whitehouse – they’ll all tell you the same thing. That one of the attractions with the drug is the taste and the smell... Obviously... Not forgetting the manic buzz of course.
But don’t think for one second I am trying to justify or glamorise it, because by all means I am not. That shit almost killed me – in more ways than one as I have told you in the second to last Blog.
I know – or at least I hear – that it is cheap as fuck to buy the drug nowadays... which is a complete nightmare.
I am not trying to make out that I am some kind of Monk ‘ere. But, seriously, the kids really haven’t got a clue what they are dealing with these days. But it’s not like I am gonna get up there in front of the little fuckers and tell them.
Why you ask?
For the simple fact, you couldn’t and can’t ever tell kids what to do. I would just be one big fuckin’ hypocrite. I mean just look at me for Christ sake – I loved drugs... all drugs for that matter. Because they either did one of two things (or both in certain cases – helped me lose my mind and make me a boat load of cash)
But it’s only now looking back do I realise just how much they have fucked my life up in more ways than one.
So let me get back to that taste...
However before that – and yes I am about to go off on a real tangent ‘ere with what I am about to say - But I really believe in sharing good things (no, not crack) and at this point, I think I should just mention that I am bouncing between Phil Beckett’s show on a new station I came across (you can tell, at this point, just how long I’ve been out of Manc-Chester as I imagine it is anything but new) called Revolution on 96.2 FM and which also has Mani, originally from The Stone Roses and now Primal Scream on Monday nights - whilst I've also been checking out Clint Boon’s show online at XFM Manchester, which is a little bit of a betrayal, as I am a massive Zane (Lowe) follower. But both of these are quality shows that I am loving. I think Clint just managed to throw three lots of different guests in there, along with live sessions from Team Waterpolo who are well worth checking out at http://www.myspace.com/teamwaterpolo
I love all music, and love the fact that Zane plays such an eclectic range of tunes. However whilst we are on the subject of music (albeit that I am jumping from one thing to the other ‘ere once again) and DJ’s I have for you guys, and highly recommend, a late night show on XFM Manchester (possibly London as well, I really ain’t too sure) with a DJ known as John Kennedy who does (I think) Monday to Thursday nights (as I tuned in last Friday night gutted to find he wasn’t there) 10pm – 1am, and who, in my mind anyway... fucking rocks with his eclectic mix which I have to say is superb. I’ve been bouncing round the net checking out some bands whom I never even knew existed – for example these guys who you can click to get directed to their myspace page - Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks.
Who? I hear you ask...
That’s exactly what I thought, but he played this tune. It was the kind of tune that sneaks up on you – you know when you’re sat there listening – yet working at the same time, and then you find yourself totally immersed into the tune itself that you find yourself just sat there smiling. Well there you have it... Albeit they don't appear to have the track John played that I listened to on myspace - but check them out anyway.
He has Lightspeed Champion who you can check out on http://www.myspace.com/lightspeedchampion and who played on there tonight as part of Exposure which also rocks – apart from the fact my damn connection keeps cutting out. So keep missing chunks of the show – fuckin’ nightmare.
However - if there is one band that you just have to take some time to check out it has to be, without a doubt The Courteeners at http://www.myspace.com/thecourteeners I love this band and everything they appear to stand for. Saw them live last year and I can honestly say that they are fookin' brilliant to say the least. Great lyrics - great music played with real full on Manc passion that I haven't witnessed in a long time - one of the top three gigs I attended last year.
So there you go – got a little side tracked – however if you get chance – definitely check out all of these stations, DJ’s and shows by the way.
Anyway – where the hell was I? Oh yeah... That fuckin’ damn taste...
I remember this one time (one of those times when I found out the police was looking for me in a certain town) Therefore, I bailed and got myself the hell out of dodge, and hit my pal’s gaff on this lovely estate, known as Coleshaw Farm, located in Wilmslow.
Yes, I am being sarcastic about the lovely estate, and yes there really is some shit holes in Wilmslow...
Anyway – He was originally from Glasgow, and so I remember somehow in our young, dumb and very fuckin’ stupid and wild ways thinking, ‘Fuck the police. What we even doing in this country... Fuck it – let’s get the hell out of the country.’
What we didn’t take into consideration, was the fact that he didn’t (or me thinking about it) even have a passport, and that we would first have to, go and get his birth certificate from Glasgow. So not to be deterred, we decided we’d grab the midnight coach from Manchester to Glasgow. But first we’d obviously need to get supplies. So we put the phone call into someone from another delightful estate, Wythenshawe. Someone, who at a later stage would change so many things in my life....
But that’s a different tale – for a different time...
So the drugs were purchased. Or to be exact we had around 3 ounces of the finest cannabis resin you could lay your hands on – half an ounce of Speed, a bag full of Es (doves) some stupid fuckin’ trips with flying keys on them... and not forgetting, around a half-an-ounce of rock (crack cocaine) Therefore we jumped the train from Wilmslow to Manctown and off we set.
Let’s roll those fuckin’ dice on a wild trip to Fear and Loathing in Las-fookin’-Glasgow, I thought to myself (like I keep saying – young and fuckin’ dumb to say the least) Obviously the coach wasn’t quite like Hunter S Thompson’s Great Red Shark – no more than Glasgow was Las-Fucking-Vegas like in Fear and Loathing...
But what did we care at that age. All I remember from the journey up there was sitting there – blatant as fook wearing some daft-as-fook bright green ski hat and one of those original – yet dodgy looking - green Gio Goi jacket’s that were being knocked out at the time to promote the company at the time (by people we knew involved somehow with the brothers who owned the company) and every fooker was wearing them...
Sorry – side tracked once again... We sat there smoking the potent (never mind foul-smelling... well kind of anyway) drug in our seats without a care in the world, as we were surrounded by a coach load of passengers. But looking back – no one said a word (maybe it was just how fucked up the two of us looked!)
And I also remember that we had burnt through the foil on top of the glass we’d brought with us. So stopping off at the service station, I was running round like a headless chicken trying to find kitchen foil (I mean why the hell would they even sell it?)
But that’s where the one side of drugs kick in like animal instinct and you learn to improvise very fast... and several chocolate bars of Yorkie and Kit-Kat’s were purchased (yes back in the day kids, they were covered in foil – although now thinking about it – maybe we contributed to the fact they no longer use that shit to wrap round them these days)
So back to the coach (which we then discovered had almost left us stranded there) with the supplies at hand – We’d spent all our time running round like this couple of lunatics (not even in search of drugs – but a means to taking the damn things – that we hadn’t even realised how long we’d been) It had been so lucky that my pal’s sister had also come with us, so she could go to see some other family members up there, and had stopped the driver from going anywhere.
I just remember as we continued to smoke this shit looking at my pal and saying, ‘Fuck, we are taking pure liberties ‘ere pal,’ to which he simply replied with the stupidest of grins, ‘Fuck ‘em mate.’
Like I said, young, dumb and full of... well you know what I am getting at.
Anyhow – we were finally shipped to his uncle’s flat. I swear it was mad. They bundled us into a car and we were told to keep our heads down until we got there. Seriously – what the fuck???
And I have to say that was one of the most surreal experiences I ever had. I mean we’d just spent nearly 10 hours on a coach (rocked out of our minds) and then – fuck any sightseeing in Glasgow... As we were locked in the flat and told that if we went out looking like we did we’d be nicked – simple as that.
So we just sat in this guy’s bedroom (not even the damn living room for Christ sake) smoked more weed – dropped more pills and acid – snorted that foul fuckin’ speed (which I hated by the way) and smoked lot’s more crack – all with his crazy fookin’ Glaswegian uncle who banged away dangerously at his fucked up looking guitar (which he seriously couldn’t play for shit... not that I told him that the crazy looking cunt) and all I remember is that he just kept smoking the crack – whilst continuously rolling joints (I swear he was like a machine – the only time I saw him stop was to eat a sweaty kebab his pal brought round for him) so more and more drugs were taken – smoking – snorting – dropping – more fucking smoking Class A shit – we were getting more out of it with each hit of crack and all he just kept saying in that strong Glaswegian accent that to this day I haven’t got a clue what he was saying was, apart from, ‘fuuuck the buzz lads – I just need more of that taste.’
So you now know and you realise just how fucking dangerous this shit is. I mean if you can get hooked on the effects of the Class A Drug itself – then you’re pretty screwed if the taste also does it for you.
We were finally smuggled back out of the flat after three days, and bundled onto a train back to the delightful Manchester. Thank fuck!
Anyway, talking of smells and tastes – I remember the first time I smelt heroin being smoked. I had just picked up the package and needed it tested (I didn’t do the shit at the time) and when this addict smoked it, I was like, ‘What the fuck is that stink? Does that taste as bad as it smells?’ He was nodding as his eyes were closing...
But it certainly fuckin’ did taste that bad, I can tell you. You see, I know this for a fact, as I tried it straight afterwards, as soon as I got home – for the simple fact – as I couldn’t get my head round why someone would want to smoke something like that that smelt so fuckin’ bad.
And you know what happened. I puked – and puked – and fuckin’ puked again... and retched all of my stomach lining up – but you know what? The entire time my body and mind rushed and raced like it was about to fuckin’ explode...
Then I just lay there completely twisted and fucked from the effects of what is in my mind, the world’s worst ever drug – and the one that will never ever just be some kind of a fad. Smack – or Heroin – will always be there – no matter what the authorities around the world try to do to combat it.
Fuck the glamour of Charlie (and that is not me trying to glamorise the drug in anyway – it just seems like it has become an accepted part of any night out these days no matter where you are in the world) – Smack is a very fucking harsh reality that always, unlike Charlie always appears to lead to that lethal and deadly physical addiction.
But fact of the matter was that I still hated Smack even though it was part of my business – well I hated it that is, unless I mixed it with Crack – then it just tasted like Orange and Apricot flavoured Ribena. So then you came back to the taste rather than the buzz.
But – to be totally truthful with you, back then that was just a piss poor excuse just to take more and more Drugs.
So what can I say to the kids of today – To the new generation coming through – Fuck all basically! They will do whatever they want to do. If I was to take a stand – or any fucker out there, and go and try to tell them not to do it – you come back to the same old story – of telling someone not to do it only leads to them wanting to do it more of course.
So with all of this and other thoughts in mind – you can see why I have been having those sleepless nights – along with those bizarre dreams. People who haven’t even crossed my mind in years – decades – are popping up there.
Especially with some of the emails I have been receiving. But I mean come on lads – it’s not like I changed my name or my face is it now. I’ve always been ‘ere. The past is surely all in the past... or is it?
Cos’ I am gonna find out sure enough within the next few months as it’s gonna be that long road back to Manchester of course. I am not sure, that I will be welcomed with open arms of course.
Well I suppose it’s that time for me to just roll those fookin’ dice again, then wait and see where it lands me...
To which I obviously don’t know the answer to...
Take it easy as always and don’t forget to get those orders in through the ‘Further Info’ page at the top of this link – and whatever you do – please leave as much feedback or reviews online as you possibly can.
Like I always say – good or bad – I want to hear it all...
Anwar